Practical Equanimity

Equanimity is the ability to keep a calm mind whatever goes on. A little equanimity could possibly eliminate all the medications in our bathroom medicine cabinets, if only we knew how to use it.

Consider fear, anxiety, worries, or anger, and you are looking at uppers, downers, fixers, tears, reactions, and so on. Since our thoughts are the cause of many of our problems, starting there to find peace of mind is not such a bad idea. A calm mind is the cure for many things. Take stress away, and a lot of physical symptoms, ailments, illnesses, and diseases go away, or at least get better.

Equanimity means learning to move like the ship through the changing winds and waves without losing balance. Remember the weather – our emotions come and go unpredictably like rain and sunshine and wind. When it rains, we get wet, when the sun shines, we adjust to the heat. But for most of us - each time our emotional weather changes, our inner weather changes with it.

Equanimity is an emotional intelligence and an exploration of our selves that leads to a freeing of the mind. With equanimity come resilience and the ability to weather storms.

Life itself teaches us equanimity. As we age we naturally have more ability and desire to be open to both our favored things and preferences and those not as much. When we let go of a dominating selfish investment of our own view of things, we open ourselves to allow experiences to be felt differently and solved in new ways. Practicing equanimity leads to insight. Extremes subside. And we can learn and practice at any age.

Possible ways to practice developing equanimity:

• Look at everything from above. There is a beautiful book called “Overview” – images of cities, giant bus depots, garbage plants, urban developments, etc. from around the world seen from high above where everything looks alien, like patterns both beautiful, awe-inspiring, mesmerizing, and humbling. Looking from high above, all our issues seem ridiculous, our differences self-made. If you can fly out into space in a moment of potential upset and look from afar at the globe and, your ability to stay calm will be a lot greater.

• Imagine yourself as the sailboat cutting through the water. The water wants to kick you over or flood you, it rises and falls, but you adjust a little so the water rolls off and just stay on course.

• Understand that most people are pre-occupied with themselves. If you feel a reaction coming on, stop yourself and know in that moment that the energy and misery you are about to put yourself through, is wasted. Chances are that anyone who causes upset to another is themselves going through something upsetting that causes their behavior. Try to know with compassion instead, that the other is not having an easy day. They may not even notice your reaction or hear your words, blinded by their own stuff.

• Mindfulness practice and meditation: experiencing without judgment, noticing and reflecting as thoughts and events come and go without reacting.

• Focus on commonalities. Everyone wants the same, no matter where we live and who we are. Imagine what the other is feeling right now, which dreams they are yearning to fulfill right now.

Equanimity is about cultivating an openness to what comes without prejudice or preference. When we let go of arrogance, we find flexibility. Equanimity is a deep trust, and resembles the grace of the boat when sailing through the water and wind with no apparent effort. Like the boat, adjust to not lose the balance of your mind.

“I found the secret to life. I’m okay when everything is not okay.” — Tori Amos