No Judging Day

 No Judging Day
Turn Your Thoughts From Negative to Positive in Seconds.

 How often in a day do you catch yourself judging someone or something? 

Let’s try the classic example of someone honking their horn while you are in line at the stoplight and can’t move your car. Clearly an idiot, right? We rush to judgments of incompetence, maybe even a dose of personal rage. We don’t consider that the driver may have hit the horn by accident, might have misjudged the lights, or maybe is riddled with stress to get to a bathroom.

We all have some internal dialogue going all the time. A lot of it is negative reactions to what comes at us, the people we meet in passing or interact with or whatever we see or hear.  Of course, we all hate to be judged ourselves. And we all believe that others are terrible at judging us.

Judging causes discomfort and anxiety. We are stuck in criticism and denial. There are dark clouds inside we can’t even put our finger on.

But it doesn’t mean we are bad people. Neuroscience tells us that our tendencies to pre-judgments and prejudice are based in the amygdala. From this center in our brains, we are sent warning signals to protect us from threats in the form of quick judgments based on unconscious attitudes. These attitudes are based on repeated words or images associated with our culture or circumstances to certain groups, stereotypes or associations.

What can we do to stop it and turn it into a more positive, perhaps even productive on-going event in our heads?

  Acknowledge that we judge. That enables us to do things differently.

  Become aware of the chatter inside. Just listen. Just tell yourself you are going to get to know that voice in your head and learn what it is up to. Why wouldn’t you? It is in YOUR head! But it is not some alien invader or insect infestation in your brain folds, it is part of you. It’s just that you don’t seem to be deciding what this voice is saying. It just goes off on its own…

  Apply kindness to your first thoughts. It may or may not change the situation, but it will change your inner landscape. Acceptance brings peace.  

  Wonder instead of rushing to conclusions. Think up some alternative narratives than the one that came to mind first. 

You will find that invisible bonds are created. You will feel closer to the other. It will elevate your spirit and ease your days. It will expand your understanding of others, which leads to hope and inspiration. You will go directly from judgment to exercising compassion.
Do you have any idea just how much this can change your feelings about yourself, and how other people might behave around you?

Try it today. Go into the world and monitor your thoughts. Catch them and twist them around. See what happens. Try it again. And again.
And before you know it, you know it:
It is a lot more fun to give others the benefit of the doubt.
It is a lot more fun to not complain (even if only in your head).
It is a whole lot of fun to guess what another person’s life might be like and sometimes even reach out and connect if only for a brief hello and 2 seconds of your eyes meeting.

Gradually, positive associations sow new seeds, grow new roots, and new links.
And you’ll see new light - and maybe even make some new friends.