Look a Tiger in the Eye

My favorite gingko tree grows through the cement in a small parking lot. It inspires me. It never moves, but it is never the same. Effortlessly and painlessly it changes from luscious green to alluring red to inspiring bright yellow before letting go of all color and becoming yet another version of itself. But it seems to me it also changes to adorn the parking lot, its world to shine in – for me. And for you, if you see it too.

Imagine if we could do the same: change the way we look and behave just as effortless and painlessly as the gingko tree. To walk out the door into the world dressed differently than the way we always do. To show new colors or new ways so people point and notice. The courage it takes is raging. And we against it.

Be safe. Be the same. Blend in. Don’t rock the boat, whisper little voices from somewhere.

Most people resist change. Many are terrified of change. Fear of change is a real condition with a real and Greek name: Metathesiophobia.

It paralyzes its sufferers, from teenagers afraid to grow up, to adults in their prime afraid to grow old, to jobs or careers never pursued in fear of letting go of what we have, and so on. We stay in our routines and we repeat our patterns, afraid of discovering what might lie just beyond: adventure, peace, better lives, or more freedom - because it is not really the change we fear, but losing control.

I know a homeless person, who chooses to stay homeless out of fear of change, a fear perhaps of becoming vulnerable in a different way than he already is. Asking for help is handing over control, like giving someone else the authority to tell us what is right for us. That is hard no matter how bad our situation is. Our spirit inside is screaming, I know what to do, I am not helpless.

Many couples have the same argument over and over. Nothing ever changes in the relationship or the arguments until one decides to change the formula. When one person decides to change his or her own behavior, the other has to as well. To change a conversation we must step into the moment and take a new approach. We must behave or speak differently than last time.

Everyone carries with them a dream of the perfect life according to their own interpretation of perfect. Most “perfect lives” include love, great relationships, good health, and enough money to control one’s time to do and have what we want. And for many people, the dream remains a dream without an active awareness of the connection between the dream and our own ability or willingness to change.

Imagine yourself as someone else. Try this, try on their lives deeply and truly in your thoughts:

    Perhaps you are a tiger trainer, looking into the unpredictable
    eyes of an animal capable of sniffing your life out in a moment
    while you try to bond with its cat’s purr.

     Perhaps you are the richest person in the world, and you decide
     to try to cure the worst disease troubling mankind - because you can.
     And perhaps you are at risk of getting this disease.

    Perhaps you are Charles Dickens walking in the Victorian snow,
    struggling to formulate in words your understanding of the human psyche.

    Perhaps you are that homeless on a cold street, looking
    dependent and lost, but inhabiting a spirit much like everyone
    else, full of history and stories, maybe never to be told but to yourself
    over and over, in silence.

What is scarier to you - a tiger looking you in the eye, a deadly disease, your imagination gone dead, a life without purpose, or the change itself?

Change is good for us. It wakes us up. It brings new inspiration. It feeds courage. There will probably be stress involved as we strive to get to another level or become better versions of ourselves. Sometimes change comes with a little inner cleanup, maybe a little discomfort as a new day prepares to dawn. Chances are it will also bring excitement and renewal.

Go look at what does not work anymore in your life – and find the courage to change it. Could it be that easy? Probably not, but the first step is.

“When you are finished changing, you are finished."
Benjamin Franklin