I Dare You!

Do you have trouble making decisions sometimes? You are not alone.

A lot of people struggle with life’s little and big choices, from what to order on the menu, to how to change their life.

What most of us don’t realize is that there is always another option than those we are trying to choose from. It’s the decision we don’t make. Because not making a decision is a decision.

Of course, we don’t choose to not take advantage of an opportunity. No, we don’t choose to not get our dream job. We don’t choose for our lives to go nowhere fast. But sometimes we do so by not choosing anything, whether offered or not.
When we relinquish our decision-making power by hesitating or stalling endlessly, we can create a mindset of disempowerment and vulnerability.

Maybe we are scared of being seen, of sharing, of our own talent, or the fear of judgment. Maybe we think we have no talent. Maybe we think we are too smart and don’t need to know anything else. Perhaps change is terrifying. Or maybe the fear of rejection keeps us on the “safe” path, where our imagined monsters are at least familiar.

The world is full of new information of every flavor and each of us has collected our own sampling of information. Each of us has something to share and something to learn. Every time we choose not to connect we deprive ourselves and someone else of a learning experience.

What to do?

Activate your curious mind and ask yourself what would happen if you were not afraid of being turned down. Were the options presented the only possible ones? Could there be a better one you hadn’t considered?

What if you could see change as an open door for you to choose to go through, while still being in charge of what you do on the other side?

Try to see the planet from above and imagine all the 7 billion people scattered about. Each of us is free to make choices of what to do, when, and how. Even those in dire circumstances have choices – at the very least they can choose how to respond.
Let this idea humble you and look at your own set of difficult choices.

How do you make a decision if that is outside your comfort zone?

Decide to decide. Just pick one. Stop the self-negotiating. How about now?

Try it next time you can’t make up your mind.

   Sandwich or salad?
Pick one. Dare to feel confident choosing.

   Move to India or go back to school to learn woodworking?
Dare to be brave and step out. Pick one and start it. Maybe you will realize when you pick one it is the other one you really want. Or maybe you can learn woodworking and then go to India. Does one decision exclude another?
Using your personal power and making a decision is a relief. Confidence comes from being empowered in your life. With confidence comes hope and resilience.

   Quit the job and do your own thing or look for more money and   
   opportunity within your job?
We fear the consequences of such big decisions. What if I quit and can’t get my own thing going?
What if I stay safe and regret the rest of my life I didn’t dare to jump?

Those are the real questions and the real decisions.

Hesitating and procrastinating is frustrating and can breed anger and resentment. That anger is a message to yourself. You know that making a decision brings relief. Even a small one.

Choose to fill your life with meaning and be part of something.  Maybe just by trying a meal you never ordered or tasted.
From that experience alone you will likely gain more information about your own likes and dislikes.

Don’t let doubt and indecision run your life and emotions, and undermine your choices and understanding of yourself.

I dare you - pick one. Just pick.